Righteousness by Faith in Christ

^“8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 

⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in^[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” Philippians 3:8-9 (NIV)

 

GOD: Erin, I know you’ve read these verses before- where Paul says he thinks nothing is worth anything compared with the greatness of knowing Jesus as his Lord. That because of being saved by My Son and being in relationship with Him, you lose all the things that were so important to you and recognize that they were all worthless trash. Paul says he wants nothing more than to know Christ and to belong to Him.

I see you pulling back, Erin, and saying, “I don’t really feel this way, Lord,” and how confused and frustrated that makes you feel. You have questioned your salvation and your faith and right standing with Me because you don’t really want ME- even though you want to want Me. But honey, I want you to recognize that this line of thinking is your flesh nature and the enemy trying to take advantage of it and distort it to keep you from Me, trying to make you think that you should be able to manufacture, create, and sustain the longing for right living and desire for Me when you’re still wrestling with your flesh nature. That’s not ever going to happen, honey- and you don’t have to beat yourself up about it. It’s not the truth. Listen to Me and My Word. In Christ you are right with me, your Heavenly Father, Erin. It does not come from following the rules; it comes from Me through your faith in Me. I use your faith in Jesus to make you right with Me.

ME: Lord, I just feel so stuck here- but help me in my unbelief. You said to Jacque in her journal, “The mind of the flesh is too much invested in its own interests to let the soul rest and simply believe in My new creation. A believer who doesn’t know herself in Christ will never really believe the work is already done.” Father, I am so stuck trying to improve in my flesh. You asked Jacque, “When will you find time to believe?” And she answered, “Only by faith when I quit depending on my works and leaning on my flesh.”

I want to give up on self-improvement and salvation by self-help so much, and yet I still feel mired in old habits and that old mindset. Please teach me about faith, Lord. Help me really understand that allowing myself to practice my faith by actively believing you is trustworthy and worthwhile. Lord, help me understand that I’m truly dead right now, because even my best efforts are always going to fall short- not only in Your eyes, but I’m unhappy with my own efforts, because I’m not supposed to be happy with or satisfied by them.

GOD: Honey, stop allowing the enemy to keep you in bondage to an old system that he is warping and distorting to keep you away from true freedom in me.

^“Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets; even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; to declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus. Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith. Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law. Is he the God of the Jews only? is he not also of the Gentiles? Yes, of the Gentiles also: seeing it is one God, which shall justify the circumcision by faith, and uncircumcision through faith. Do we then make void the law through faith? God forbid: yea, we establish the law.” Romans 3:20-31 (NKJV)

 

No one can be made right with Me by following the law, Erin. The law, or all the rules, or all your “shoulds” only show you your sin. I want you to really let that sink in, honey. A lot of your frustration with yourself and with your family- with Travis and Ro, and trying to manage their behavior and choices, and also trying to motivate yourself to do the right things- is that even your best intended guidance and self-directed efforts are not the way you should be acting and you certainly don’t need to be policing them; not even Ro in this way even though he is a kid. But honey, you keep going around making the same mistakes in the same ways and judging others for doing the same- and this is keeping you stuck. I hear and see your frustration and bewilderment because you so desire freedom and to please Me. But you’re focusing on the wrong thing, honey- remember, you cannot make yourself change by the power of positive thinking or even any amount of willpower or determination. If you could, you already would have done that. And if you could sustain that long term, you wouldn’t be here seeking relationship with Me; you wouldn’t even need Me. I can give you total freedom, Erin, just keep coming to visit me and My Word and it will happen naturally.

ME: Yes Lord, I want this so much. But how do I do that? How do I truly let go and cease striving? I already barely make time to do this study. I run from dawn to dusk with my family’s needs, taking care of my household, my job, and all of Ro’s school and mental health needs and appointments. I don’t want to make excuses Lord because I want to make it a priority and I will keep practicing it. What I mean is, how do I let go of trying to make things better especially for Ro when a huge part of my role as his mother and an adoptive parent is to advocate for him and his needs and that requires large amounts of time where I educate others about his needs and why they are what they are, and talk with others to help him and other kids like him- like for his IEP? We had big wins this week there, Lord, that we’ve had to fight for over the past 4 years, and they aren’t just helping Ro, they’re helping others like him. It seems to me that You have placed me in this role as Ro’s mom, with these passions and devotion to him and his needs, to do this very thing for him and the other orphans like him. How do I get in the mindset that I am doing Your Will yet it is YOU acting and speaking in and through me and not be so attached to the outcome and the battle?

GOD: I hear you, daughter. I love your heart and your passion and fight for these things and these kids, honey- I created you this way on purpose because I care about these kids and these things so much, too. But sweetheart, I do want to talk to you about something that is happening in your mind and heart that is sinful and that the enemy is once again distorting and enlarging to keep you from Me and close relationship with Me, and especially true freedom in Me.The Passion translation says that I freely give away My righteousness, and that My gifts of love and favor because of Jesus flow over you like a cascade. It liberates you from the guilt, punishment, and power of sin. I want you to really think, Erin, about how you tend to avoid facing all of these aspects of your own sinful nature, your own flesh. I want you to recognize what you’ve been running from, and that is this: You think you’re a little bit better than Ro and Travis or others even, because you’re so aware of all the shoulds, what should be done, and you try to act right. But you feel bad about this mindset in your heart, honey, because you recognize that you’re falling short of righteousness and the right mindset yourself.
Remember, there’s no way you can ever sustain it or create it on your own! And that does not make you unlovable, Erin; it does not make you unsafe, and it doesn’t make you a bad mom or a bad wife or sister or daughter or friend. It just makes you a human. The power of sin is a negative power and you recognize that, honey. I want you to really let yourself feel convicted by Me- not condemned, not escape, not try to come out of it on your own. It’s so hard for you to really sit with the discomfort of your own faults. You are very willing, as you say, to admit when you make a mistake. But honey, you kind of skate over your choices and your sins and the way you hurt people (and hurt Me) with your actions- as if simply because you are aware and will own it more quickly, you’re doing “better”- but you don’t really repent, you don’t really feel or allow yourself to feel the magnitude of it and the full reality of it. And this is all part of the cycle that keeps you from true freedom and intimacy with Me as Your Lord and Savior.

I’m not here to condemn you, honey, but I want you to be truly free- and you’re dissatisfied, discouraged, and even sometimes depressed because you are still under the power of sin and in bondage to the old, useless method of improving your own flesh. You’re not letting yourself experience or sit long enough with the facts and reality of your own sin nature. You say you want to change, but your pride really keeps you in a false sense of “saving,” guiding, doing better than, or protecting Ro and Travis or others. This is not because you’re a know-it-all or someone who thinks you are flawless- I know you don’t really think or believe that about yourself, Erin. It comes from the fact that you had to do all that as a little girl to survive, to try to be safe, to try to find some love, and to try to make sense of it all somehow. Erin, I am not going to reject you when you face the facts about your sins and your human nature. I already know, honey, and I do not hold it against you because you are covered by My Son’s sacrifice and you chose to receive that gift from Me. I am not a changing person who always moves the target or the goal line like your parents and others you’ve been in relationship with. I am not that person. I am your Heavenly Father; I am your true dad. You feel bad not because there is something any more wrong with you than anyone else. You feel bad because I created you to need Me, and I’m offering you the freedom. You don’t trust unconditional love, Erin, but I want to show you. I want to soften the hard protective layers of your heart and let you really experience My love- because honey, I love you so much. I love all of My children so much. You hate how harsh and critical and controlling you are, yet you keep going around and around and around. Erin, I want you to look at Me and trust Me.

ME: Father God, I do boast! I boast about my work and about being humble, which is kind of false. God, I mean well, and I want to do well in the right ways and be free from the bondage of the strongholds that have created lies, and a spider web of confusion and performance. Please keep tearing down these strongholds, Father. You tell me in verse 28 that You declare I am righteous and I am covered in your eyes when I put my faith in Your son Jesus, not by putting my faith in keeping the list of rules, keeping the laws, and all the shoulds. I just realized, Father, that all of those efforts and ways are in direct opposition with one another. I can’t value my to-do list and my attempts to live right and act right- even do all of that in worship of You- more than just knowing You and believing You.

Strip these things away from me. Lord, I love the Message translation here. It says in Verse 26 that “God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.” And in Verses 27-28 that “What we’ve learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We’ve finally figured it
out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by
proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.”

I do try to run the parade both out of anxiety and out of pride, almost always to the benefit of others and in line with Your Will and desire for us- but Papa, I hear You and see You saying to me here, that You want to release me from that burden because it is YOUR role, not mine. Thank you, Lord.

GOD: Honey, I’m smiling on you right now because you went and looked up a definition of the word faith. Not just a religious or Christian view of the word, but what it means to have faith in something or someone. You realized you didn’t really know what that word meant in a simple way, and here you were talking about and praying for Me to increase your faith, help you have faith, to believe Me and to trust in My Word, to trust in Me and My character … instead of what you can try to do on your own for all the right or wrong reasons. The definition you found of faith was “to make a decision to trust someone or something.” Daughter, I want you to decide to stop trusting all your to do’s, all your logic, all your reason and your intelligence. Erin, before you decide to trust Me, I want you to work on noticing what you’re choosing to trust or rely on and when it isn’t Me. We’ll go from there. I will reveal it to you.

ME: God, how will I know when I’m not supposed to trust or rely on something? I’m afraid I won’t be able to slow down enough to really notice it. I feel so heavy right now, God. I keep going in these cycles of controlling my son instead of being in a relationship with him, and I do the same thing with Travis- and I don’t know how to connect to you, Lord. I hear You saying you want me to notice that I’m deciding to trust or rely on control and predictability instead of letting things unfold. Or just notice that I’m trying to predict and control everything and decide to pay attention to the fact that I am trying to trust whatever I can create or sustain and direct, even with the best of intentions- that I can’t maintain that by myself. Not for my own self, not my own decisions or lack of sin or good will or anyone else’s, or circumstances in life that just happened.

GOD: Honey, I’m so glad you’re sticking with me and still talking to me back and forth right now with the Scripture. I see your discouragement and your self-condemnation at thinking you’re still going over the same ground; when are you going to get it? The law of works versus the law of faith looking at the NKJV version in Romans 3:20-31- it jumped out at you because I wanted you to see this, that there’s no boasting by law or works. I want you to realize that I just want you to boast in your faith. I want you to notice when you are not relying on Me or what I say I’m going to do, or who I’m going to make you, or anyone else … but when you’re trying to rely on control, planning, solving things, and telling Ro and Travis how they should be or do or act, and then trying to figure out why they don’t, so that you can hear it more and be healed.

Honey, you’re not their Savior; it’s not your job. I want you to practice for today not researching anything else, not trying to listen to any of Robyn Gobbel’s podcasts. I just want you to practice relying on Me instead to transform you so that your faith is in Me instead of on what you’re supposed to be paying attention to, what you want to figure out, to try to make things better. I gave you those resources as a gift for yourself and your family, not as a tool to try to make everything okay.

Honey, it’s not your job to do that, and it won’t ever all be okay- but I am working at all together for good. Let Me be God. Let Me be in control. Just try it out for today. I want to give you this gift. I love you just the way you are, and I’m so proud of you for continuing to seek Me. I’m so glad you’re here to visit Me. Keep listening to Me, keep talking to Me. I’m not going to reject you. I’m drawing you to Me. it’s okay to need Me. it’s okay to rely on Me- that’s how I designed you. I am not like your dad or your mom. I’m not going to hurt you with that trust in and reliance on Me. There’s a balance to be had of the way I created you with many talents and abilities but still relying on Me! I will show you, Erin.